when i moved out during the pandemic

The start of 2020 was hard for me because of the pandemic, finding a new job, and in June I moved out for the first time away from my parents. 

While packing up my Honda Civic with all of my belongings, I felt like something was eating at me. While putting my standing jewelry box into my car, I figured out what that feeling was -- it was sadness. 

When I loaded the last of my belongings into my car and hugged my parents goodbye, I walked back to my car and drove off. While driving, a song came on from my playlist named “I’m Already There” from Lonestar, and that’s when I burst into tears.  

While driving the backroads from Tangent to Corvallis, I cried the whole time. I felt homesick even though I could turn around and go back with my parents. But it was time for me to start a new life where I was paying my own bills, fending for myself like the adult I was becoming and that I know I was going to be. 

When I got to my new home I sat down on my new California king-size bed and held my guinea pig Phantom close to my chest and just cuddled him. His squeaking noises started to soothe me and eventually I stopped crying and continued to cuddle him till my boyfriend came home. I felt homesick for the next couple of weeks after moving in just because this was all new to me and none of it felt real. 

For those couple of weeks, I kept having dreams about me being 6 years old sitting on the floor playing with my Barbie dolls, and my parents watching over me and protecting me from anything that could hurt me. 

Now being in this house for almost a year I have learned a lot from being an adult -- like paying bills sucks, along with once you are on your own things change a lot. But it’s going to be okay because this is what people do with their lives. They live under their parents’ roof with their protection, to being on their own with no protection and having to budget all of your money into things you need to pay and buy. Sometimes you need to work your ass off to make ends meet because something could happen that you weren’t expecting at all. 

 

Now I see my parents about two times a week and spend time with them and help them with anything they need, including shopping and taking them wherever they need to go, such as taking them to trails so they can go walking, doctor appointments, and to work when the other one is sick. 

I have made a lot of sacrifices during this time of living on my own and during the pandemic, including not buying online so much and leaving my job to protect my family from COVID-19.